O Cappie, My Cappie
by DeathByKaila
Summary: We've all heard it before. Captain Falcon rapes a bunch of people. But what you haven't heard is one that rhymes!!! UPDATED, a new chapter for new madness.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: For all you know I AM Miyamoto, so stop asking stupid questions, kiss my ass, and read my fic. NOW!  
  
  
How, you may ask, does one find oneself in the predicament of writing a Super Smash Bros. (Known in some circles as the Wonderful Violent Breakage Bros.) FanFiction?  
Quite Simply.  
You see, of all the fanfic I've read, the only good ones have been SSB (WVBB).  
Being an optimist, I figured what the hell.  
So, here goes.. something.. we're still trying to figure out what exactly, but well...  
  
Oh, did I mention it's an epic limerick, too?  
  
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Needing a victim for his flame-rape routine  
Captain looked left, right, and in between  
He flaunted  
He taunted,  
But alas, there were no moves to be seen.  
  
Minding a business that was all her own  
Princess Peach thought she was alone  
With a great mighty grasp  
And a great mighty gasp  
Peach flew flaming from her throne.  
  
Captain felt regenerated  
Now that Peachie was incinerated  
He sang and danced  
and outward-pranced  
To find someone new to be degenerated  
  
And whom should he stumble across but Ness  
Using PK thunder to whip himself in the ass  
Cap was glad to help  
With a YES and a yelp  
Captain Falcon made his pass  
  
Hurrying on to his next event  
He decided this was time well spent  
"But why be so slow  
I'm up for a trio!"  
He fantisized without repent.  
  
And, who'da thunk it - Kirby and Link!  
Standing together, Cap didn't even think.  
He grabbed them both  
He cried "YES!"; his oath  
And turned strutted off in a girly slink.  
  
And Captain, my Captain, was now tuckered out.  
To his uh.. training, he was devout  
But now he was in bed  
Resting his pretty head  
And dreaming of what tomorrow would be about.  
  
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If you've read Feija (WHICH YOU SHOULD!) You are accustomed to poor widdle Cappie being made fun of.  
Well, I had to start somewhere. Perhaps my next attempt will be farther from Plagerism.  
I don't promise anything. 


	2. Cappie II: The shiteth hiteth the fan

A/N Well Well Well. Here we are, updated. Be warned: Captain Falcon shows signs of humanity, emotion, and unprettiness. If this is too much for you to bear, then I suggest you turn back now. Do you have any idea how hard it is to write an epic limerick?!  
  
-------------------------------------Captain Falcon: A Legend Relived  
  
Dearest Cappie would start his day soon  
  
He was up and dressed; it was only noon!  
  
A primp and a prink  
  
Over the bathroom sink  
  
About which cosmetics and clothing were strewn.  
  
  
  
Cappie wandered about, now fully delicious,  
  
His panties in a bundle to do something vicious.  
  
He scanned for a victim  
  
And heard a dictum  
  
From a voice on his shoulder that was quite surreptitious.  
  
  
  
"You can't do this!" cried the winged hallucination.  
  
"'Tis not right merely because it causes thee elation!"  
  
"What about that poor soul  
  
Over whose fate you take control  
  
That does not wish to be part of your combination!"  
  
  
  
This had never occurred to Cappie before!  
  
Or perhaps it was something he chose to ignore.  
  
But he was sure that he had read  
  
He was SURE someone had said  
  
His motto. "All the world's a whore!"  
  
  
  
To add to his confusion Cappie soon saw  
  
Another little feller to lay down the law  
  
"Don't let Bernie tear you apart!  
  
That ugly little bleeding heart."  
  
Cappie stood, drooling in awe.  
  
  
  
"If frequent casual sex is what you need  
  
While your partner flies, flaming, with speed,  
  
Then go to it, man!  
  
You, with your muscles and tan  
  
Who wouldn't want such a manly steed?!"  
  
  
  
Cappie was frustrated, needless to say.  
  
He was raping carelessly yesterday!  
  
Suddenly he felt remorse.  
  
This was very ugly, of course  
  
So he sent Bernir flaming into the gray.  
  
  
  
Cappie decided his conscious was overrated.  
  
It was a manifestation that he hated.  
  
To rape or not to rape  
  
Put him in quite a scrape  
  
And never again was it something he debated. 


End file.
